Insanity, thy name is Christy

[kissa_bites]

I used to be a sane person. Then, I informed my best beloved that we were getting married. Then, I repeated myself. Now, apparently, we actually are doing this thing, date and all, and now I am a crazy person. Invitations, no colors on the invitations, so we can print them easily - and oh damn, can I do that on cardstock, flowers – did you know Costco does bouquets and bulk roses, dresses, rings, marriage licenses (do I have to take a written test for this like a driver's license test - sheesh) favors, garden vs. church vs. deck, and where’s the reception, get Costco to do the cake, damn it, and where the hell did all of these people come from, and mothers... LOTS of mothers.

My mother is now a crazy person, too. She went to Michaels to "get ideas". Now she has ideas. This is both good and bad. She has a LOT of ideas (formal portraits - wtf?) to stuff for kids to do during the reception (keeping kids busy so they don't wreck havoc - quelle concept) and favors - everything from picture frames to key chains (please tell me why someone would want a keychain with my name and wedding date on it? That's just dumb.) Tell me why the frell I have to invite my cousins. They didn't invite me to their weddings *sticks tongue out in the manner of a four year old*. My mother tells me it's because I am a better person and it's good for the family. I think she means I'm willing to spend money on people I really don't like enough to call on the weekend.

I used to be sane. Once upon a time. Now, I am slowly turning into Bridezilla.

Comments

[mauvaise-etoile.livejournal.com]

You need to keep current on my The Bride LJ entries as then you will realize when you are being a Bridezilla :D

[benevolntgoddes.livejournal.com]

I have seen those - and I am promising myself that I'm going to keep my friends and family OUT of it as much as I can. I can barely stand myself today. I'd like to still have friends by the time this is all over!

[mauvaise-etoile.livejournal.com]

Hee! That is the right attitude to have :D

[benevolntgoddes.livejournal.com]

I'm driving myself nuts. Why did I decide to do this in August? Dane wanted October. Why? Why? Why?

Can favors just be seeds and terra cotta pots? I really don't need clever or witty - hell, I don't even need favors.

[mauvaise-etoile.livejournal.com]

My piece of advice re: weddings: do whatever you want to do. Do not listen to what anyone else says "is a good idea". :D And no, you do not need favors. But if you do decide to do them, don't do something cheesy (ie the keychains, which obv. you won't be doing), but something cute (ie the seeds in pots). Something like that you could also use as your centerpieces. (When we were going to have a little bit bigger wedding, that was what I was going to do: combine favors and centerpieces into one. *shrug* Seemed economical) <-----ADVICE! Don't listen to it! LOL

[benevolntgoddes.livejournal.com]

table centerpieces: tables for 8
1 candle pillar or 3 floating candles
2 photos – either childhood or old wedding photos
1 fish/plant or flower arrangement (Costco flowers)
favors???

I'm thinking a litle tin or organza bag of personalized M&M's (they totally will change the M logo for you!) or seeds/pots or decks of cards or wine bottle stoppers or some such thing.

[mauvaise-etoile.livejournal.com]

The M&Ms are very cool, imo, because you can get them in pretty much any color. I quite like the seed/pots idea, also.

Floating candles are very elegant looking *is a fan* You can even float flower heads too if you get the right kind of flowers (real or fake).

[benevolntgoddes.livejournal.com]

We could float flower heads (and even with the fish in the same bowls) too - brilliant idea. Thanks! I don't want all of the tables to be the same, nor am I using placecards.

[mauvaise-etoile.livejournal.com]

Ah, that will be very cool, then having different centerpieces at each table. I'm not a matchy-matchy girl myself (and obviously you're not either!). Are you not doing placecards as you don't care where ppl sit or because you don't like them?

[benevolntgoddes.livejournal.com]

I don't care where people sit, actually. If I put someone in a specific spot, s/he is GOING to rebel and there really is no way to force family unity, you know? People will just switch the cards. This way, folks can be comfortable and 70 people (OMG!) isn't so many that folks won't wander and chat.

Actually, the idea of each table will be the same : fire, photos, living thing, favor - how it happens though, will be pretty relaxed.

[mauvaise-etoile.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I get that. Honestly people take offense when you stick them by the "wrong" people. Pffft. Better to let them sit where they please. 70! ZOMG! :)

Yes, same but different: which is good! That's LOADS better than plopping the same flower arrangement on each table, imo. Your idea really sounds very lovely.

[benevolntgoddes.livejournal.com]

I can just hear people - "I don't know any of these people. I don't want to sit next to them. I didn't want to come here anyway but I didn't want to piss off my cousin/mother/aunt"

I have NO idea where all of those people came from! We had a small list of friends and then the mothers gave us small lists of family and together they got huge! Of course, that's just the "invitation" list. The "announcement" list is huge. Then, there's the "MIL's reception in Portland" party that we're doing.

Thanks - the tables may actually work, lmaooo.

[mauvaise-etoile.livejournal.com]

It's amazing how quickly the lists of people add up. Our original plan was for "small". Our final list ended up being about 100, and that was bare minimum, which is why we scrapped the whole thing and went down to 19. Hee.

People are just really nutso about weddings. I'll never understand why :)

[benevolntgoddes.livejournal.com]

At this point, it no longer matters. I just want it done. 10 or 100, it's pretty well all the same. I just don't have the formulae down yet. Once I get a "thing" - like the tables - it should be fairly easy to execute. I hope.

[bonsaibetz.livejournal.com]

Only your mother has a right to do anything with your ceremony, and only if you give her permission. ALl teh other mothers can jsut do what you tell them to do. Yes, it gets crazy, and I swore if I ever got married a second time, I'd do it cheap and easy with few people and damn little hassle since I nearly put myself on the verge of a nervous breakdown with my first. Did I mention that I catered my own wedding and my mom just happened to move her food manufacturing business the week before the weeking from a 600 sq ft facility to a 2,500 sq ft facility? Can you say mental case with just cause to kill my flaky in-laws who never showed up to help set up the reception? Yeah. Living on three hours of sleep a night for a whole month does not do good things to one's mental stability. All I can say is get bridesmaids and a maid of honor that don't flake as bad as mine did. Keep it simple, that will help.

Don't invite your cousins unless you think they will bring you a prezzie to make up for the fact they didn't invite you. If you want to break it down to a cold hard cash value matter, don't invite them unless you think the present they buy you will be worth more than the cost of the food to feed them. Harsh, but practicle if you feel indifferent or pissy towards them.

On a gift, I got plastic mugs that stack with a print job that said, "Thank you for sharing this day with us" with our names and the date. I've had reports years latter that those cheap stackable mugs were great for camping, grandchildren (who you don't want to give glass), and great for hot cocoa. I still use them to this day 11 years later, and so do my friends and family even though the green print on the white plastic has worn off. And for a gift item, they were practical and inexpensive compared to a lot of other gift items.

[benevolntgoddes.livejournal.com]

MY mother is driving me insane. His mother is mostly staying out of my way - mostly. Of course, when she does call or come over... well, she's very excited and I just can't tell a 74 year old woman to calm down. I will live and call it a testament to my goodwill and patience. The other mother-types are... trying to be helpful. I listen so I can glean any good ideas and smile and say thank you for the rest. *sighs*

You poor woman, you catered your own wedding? Dear Lord! I was just hoping for nibbles and finger food but *wince* apparently my mother would like something different. This is fine because SHE is hiring them, SHE is handling them and SHE is paying for them. I am just checking it off my list of to-do's. So be it and if it's sauerkraut and sausage or cabbage and potatoes... well... okay.

I think it highly unlikely that my cousins will bring anything. This is one where I am just bending to the will of my mother. I don’t need to talk to them or take photos with them or any such thing. They will all clique together (four cousin girls, two husbands) and not bother anyone else – so be it. I am going to let my mother smirk and her cousin an say something like, “I know the girl didn’t invite Christy but our side of the family thinks family is sooooo important at life changing events….”

The mugs are a great thought, I probably wouldn’t have thought of them – thanks!

[bonsaibetz.livejournal.com]

Don't invite the cousins then. Tell you mom they didn't invite you and if she wants to pay to feed cheap, ungrateful relatives that will only annoy you on YOUR special day, well then, she'll just have to live with the guilt of ruining your wedding day if they piss you off. (You want some gravy on your deep-fried guilt?) Don't do it to please your mom, only do it if it will please you that they will feel like crap for not inviting you or you KNOW that they will leave you alone.

I didn't do anything as easy as finger foods. I did the whole hors d'ouerve table (with 20 lbs of shimp for 100 people that was GONE! in a flash, crudites, cheeses, fresh fruits, crackers) for nibbles BEFORE the dinner, which was wild rice pilaf, chicken cordon bleu and roast fillet. I catered a lot of events over the years and my mom and I always cooked more than was needed, but she and I have NEVER seen people eat like they did at my wedding. 100 people ate like 150 people. Usually there are leftovers from an event, but there was jsut barely enough for this group.

If the mother-types want to be offer help, then delegate. This will keep them busy, keep them out of your hair with a project, make them feel useful so they don't bug you anymore and you have one less thing to worry about that is now in the hands of a competent adult who is eager to help. I could have used a bevy of those type of women with my wedding, but alas, all my female friends flaked and female relatives did too, with the exception of my sister - but she was 8 months pregnant at the time, so she couldn't do much.

Glad to provide one good piece of advice with the mugs.

[benevolntgoddes.livejournal.com]

There is a possibility of them feeling guilty. I am actually running with that one. I feel a bit bad about forcing guilt - but not much.

WOW! You actually made stuff, holy cow! I just know I don't have the energy to do that. Even the first wedding was to be catered - of course, that was 250 people. I'm just glad my mother is taking care of it.

My mom is doing a lot, but I don't really know what the other mom-types can do. If I think of something, I'm absolutely going to use them! I'm trying to avoid dumping stuff to do on my friends - hopefully it'll work. *wince*

[averygoodun.livejournal.com]

I think it was the week before my wedding that I looked at my husband-to-be and said, "It's too late to elope, isn't it?" And mine was a very, very simple wedding!

Good luck! (And congratulations!)

[benevolntgoddes.livejournal.com]

Dane's already asking if we could just go to Vegas - and he's not doing all that much! I'm really working on simplicity. I'm not sure how well I'll do it, though.

Thanks!

[adararosey.livejournal.com]

bridezilla...dies....you will look great!

[benevolntgoddes.livejournal.com]

I so feel like Bridezilla - tromping through the house, grumbling andsnapping and generally freaking out!

Thanks!